You've heard that being a working parent to a young child is no easy task, and every parent wants to do their best regardless of their parenting style. But what if you could help your child by hearing from them about what they need most from you?
Children today have their own perspectives, feelings, and desires that often get lost in the day-to-day hustle. In fact, a recent study from the Pew Research Center found that nearly many parents struggle with effective parenting skills. many parents struggle with effective parenting skills.
60% of U.S. children feel their parents don’t always understand their needs, which can hinder good parenting. So, what do kids really want from their parents?
Here are the top 15 parenting tips that kids in the U.S. would give to their parents if they had the chance.
"Listen to Me Without Judging"
1. HOW TO ACTIVELY LISTEN TO YOUR CHILD WITHOUT JUDGMENT
One of the biggest things kids want is to be heard without feeling judged. Too often, children feel their thoughts or concerns are dismissed or judged too quickly. Active listening—without spur of the moment interrupting or jumping to conclusions—is a simple way to show respect.
"Spend Quality Time with Me"
2. THE IMPORTANCE OF QUALITY TIME TOGETHER OVER THE QUANTITY IN PARENTING
According to a survey by Family and Work Institute, 77% of kids said they wished their parents would spend more quality time with them. It’s not just about quantity; kids crave real, meaningful engagement to develop self-control. Whether it’s playing a game, cooking together, or just talking, your presence is what matters.
"Let Me Make Mistakes"
3. WHY IT'S IMPORTANT FOR KIDS TO MAKE MISTAKES AND LEARN FROM THEM
Kids need room to make mistakes and learn from them. Overprotective parenting can stifle their independence and growth. It's important to remember that by taking a step back and allowing kids to stumble, they learn resilience and problem-solving.
"I wish my parents would let me mess up sometimes. I learn more when I figure things out on my own." — Emily, 12
"Don't Compare Me to Others"
4. HOW COMPARISONS HARM CHILDREN'S SELF-ESTEEM
No child wants to be compared to their sibling, a classmate, or the "perfect" kid next door. Comparisons make children feel inadequate and can harm their self-esteem. Kids wish parents would focus on their unique strengths and help them develop their own identity.
"Talk to Me About Feelings"
5. HOW TO TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT EMOTIONS AND MENTAL HEALTH
In today’s world, mental health is increasingly important and self-care is a critical issue. Kids want their parents to be open about emotions and normalize conversations around feelings. According to the CDC, nearly 20% of kids aged 6-17experience mental health challenges, making emotional awareness crucial for good parenting. Teaching your kids about the importance of self-care i is a critical life skill not only for them, but for yourself. Children watch, understand and learn which impacts your child's development to grow and develop into a healthy and confident adult.
"Trust Me More"
6. HOW TO BUILD TRUST WITH YOUR CHILD OVER TIME AND BECOME A BETTER PARENT
Children often feel like their parents don’t trust them, even when they've done nothing to lose that trust, highlighting the importance of setting boundaries. Building a sense of security and structure of trust through open communication and gradual responsibility helps kids feel empowered and valued to make their own choices. Consistent with discipline, it can strengthen the parent-child relationship that will set the tone for their future time together as a family.
"I wish my parents would trust me to make my own choices sometimes, instead of always thinking I’ll mess up." — Daniel, 14
"Respect My Privacy"
7. WHY RESPECTING A CHILD'S PRIVACY IS CRUCIAL FOR THEIR DEVELOPMENT
As children grow, their need for privacy increases. Respecting and setting clear boundaries, such as knocking before entering their room or allowing them some space, goes a long way in showing trust and respect especially as a child is growing within the family dynamic is concerned.
"Explain Things Instead of Just Saying No"
8. HOW TO EXPLAIN CLEAR BOUNDARIES TO YOUR KIDS INSTEAD OF JUST SAYING NO
Kids often feel frustrated when their parents tell them "no" without an explanation. Instead of simply saying no, explain why. This helps them understand boundaries and teaches them how to think critically in healthy ways .
"Be Consistent with Rules"
9. THE IMPORTANCE OF CONSISTENCY IN PARENTING RULES AND CONSEQUENCES WHEN RAISING KIDS
Consistency is key in parenting. Children feel secure when they know the rules and understand the consequences. Mixed messages or too much free reign can lead to confusion and mistrust, making it harder for kids to understand right from wrong.
"Don't Yell at Me"
10. WHY YELLLING DOESN'T WORK AND HOW TO PRACTICE POSITIVE DESCIPLINE FOR BETTER DEVELOPMENT
Kids universally agree that being yelled at makes them feel scared and powerless. Reduce stress and apply positive discipline methods, such as talking calmly or using time-outs, are much more effective than yelling, which can damage a child’s emotional and social self-worth.
"When my parents yell, I feel like they’re not hearing me, and it just makes me want to yell back." — Sarah, 11
"Show Me You Believe in Me"
11. HOW TO BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE IN YOUR CHILD THROUGH ENCOURAGEMENT AND SELF-CARE
Much like the parenting journey, children need encouragement and belief in their potential. When parents express confidence in their abilities, kids are more likely to develop self-confidence and take on challenges without fear and demonstrate good behaviour.
"Talk to Me About Big Issues"
12. HOW TO TALK TO YOU CHILD ABOUT WORLD ISSUES IN A WAY THEY UNDERSTAND
Many kids feel like their parents avoid discussing big issues like politics, world events, or even family problems. In today’s information-rich world, children watch everything and are exposed to these topics anyway. They appreciate when parents take the time to explain complex issues in a way they can understand.
"Be Patient with Me"
13. WHY PATIENCE IS A KEY SKILL FOR EFFECTIVE PARENTING SKILLS
Growing up is hard, and kids wish parents could be more patient with their development. Whether it’s struggling with schoolwork or learning social skills, children need time to grow at their own pace without feeling rushed or pressured.
"Be My Role Model"
14. HOW TO BE A POSITIVE ROLE MODEL FOR YOUR CHILDREN
Kids look up to their parents, even if they don’t always show it. They want their parents to lead by example. According to a study from the University of Illinois, children who see their parents practicing healthy habits—like managing stress or staying active—are more likely to adopt these behaviors themselves especially they get older.
"I want my parents to show me how to be a good person, not just tell me." — Marcus, 13
"Tell Me You Love Me Every Day"
15. WHY SAYING 'I LOVE YOU' EVERY DAY IS ESSENTIAL FOR YOUR CHILD'S EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT AND YOUR EVERYDAY PARENTING STYLE
This one might seem simple, but it’s profound. Kids never outgrow the need to hear "I love you" from their parents. Verbal affirmations of love go a long way toward making children feel secure, valued, and loved—no matter their age.
GOOD PARENTING: LISTEN, LOVE, AND LEAD
Parenting is an ongoing learning process, and no one has all the answers. But when we take the time to truly listen to our children, respect their feelings, and show them love and understanding, we help them grow into confident, happy, and well-adjusted individuals. These 15 pieces of advice offer valuable insights into what matters most to kids today by not only talking about it, but demonstrating positive parenting practices that children understand wether you're truly committed to having a real relationship with your child. They don’t need perfect parents—they just need parents who are good role models that are willing to listen, love unconditionally, and help children through the challenges of life.
Remember, parenting is a journey filled with ups and downs and mistakes will happen. The goal isn’t to raise perfect children, but to raise and have moments with your children who will feel heard, respected, and loved every day.
